I used to hate the though of uploading videos of my hooping. I look so crap! All the mistakes! The face pulling! I watch myself, and criticise and hate on me. I'm a Mean Girl! When I watch others hoop videos I just think how awesome they are - why can't I be like this with myself?! And I don't think I'm the only one out there who does this. I hear it in my hoop class all the time!
This is the voice of our inner critics being really bloody mean to us! We would never say to anyone the awful, picky, out downs we say to ourselves. I know I only pick out the sloppiness, the repetition, the gurning, the flailing ... And on and on it goes.
So I'm going to try and not do that any more. I am going to remember how it felt in the moment, and look for the successes and the joy shining through.
And, by videoing myself, watching it and NOT deleting straight away, I am turning my back on my mean self. I will upload some practice sessions, and be nice about them and not pick out the worst bits! Best of all, I will be able to see my progression and remember old tricks that got sidelined and forgotten about.
By putting what I do out there, warts and all, I am sticking my fingers up to my mean self, because who cares if it's not perfect? Who cares what it looks like? It was soooo much fun! I flipping enjoyed hooping it out that day, and it made the day extremely much better.
Hooping is about fun, freedom and self expression for me - not how I look to other people (or on camera!).
It can be too easy to forget this though, and to forget the joy you feel at keeping the hoop going round when you first started.
Time to remember that feeling.
And listen here mean girl. I practice so much, I am proud of all the stuff I can do even when it goes a bit wobbly. So there, mean me.